Tinashe apparently knows that better than anyone else. Her song "Nasty," which debuted in April, has taken oversocial media. In May, one viral tweet on X asked: "Who are 2 people that actually did match each others freak?" Many pop culturereferences followed. I chuckled most at this one featuring "Sex and the City" and "And Just Like That ..." actress Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie: "and i couldn’t help but wonder … is somebody gonna match my freak?"
On TikTok, countless videos on the platform show people stitching different clips and versions of the song. "Me trying to find someone to match my freak," a TikTok user captions one video featuring him searching for love in a gaudy, garden landscape. Another shows a TikTok user and her sister with the caption: "is somebody gonna match my freak (my sister is the only human I know whose parents got divorced and then remarried years later)."
Then it hit me. Like many a meme on social media, this trend makes us look inward. Makes me look inward, at least. Aren't we all just looking for someone in the world to "match our freak?" The weirdest things about us often define us.
I know, I know. I'm a "Carrie" from "Sex and the City," this is cringey, blah, blah. But hear me out.
Embrace your freak flag
Maybe you like to watch "Real Housewives" while you get ready for work in the morning. Maybe you take a cold shower after your hot shower. Maybe you listen to the same Taylor Swift album on every run you take or workout you do.
Am I talking about myself? Possibly! Regardless, our little quirks and habits make us who we are, and as long as they are not doing anything that harms ourselves or others, they are worth celebrating. So what if you enjoy eating the same thing for breakfast every day, or check who views each of your Instagram stories, or like to – (OK, got it, I'll stop talking about myself. I have a lot of quirks, OK, many of which I haven't even listed).
Still, it's scary to let someone in to see our freak in the first place, let alone "match" it. Whether it's a friend, family member or romantic partner, vulnerability is something you must practice and others must earn with time and trust. I talk with relationship experts all the time, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that no one can read your mind. You have to say what you want in order to get what you want. You have to let you freak flag fly, so to speak. Easier said than done, of course.
Seeking professional help might be beneficial if fear of romanticrelationshipsis the reason why someone finds they are remaining single. "If someone is worried and finds social interactions awkward or uncomfortable there are coaches and therapists who can help employ exercises,"Courtney Watson, licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told me. "If the difficulty is related to unresolved traumas then again, therapy is a great tool."
The truth about matching love languages
Let's say you work through what you need to, and you meet someone. A friend, a lover, whomever. What does it mean for them to "match your freak?" Is it speaking the same love language? Do opposites actually attract?
It's going to be different for everyone. "If your love languages don't 'match,' it just means you need to be more intentionaland aware,but it doesn't mean the relationship can't work," writes Millennial Therapist columnist Sara Kuburic. She adds: "If you are starting to feel your love language isn't being met, it can be helpful to talk to your partner about it. Maybe you're craving more physical intimacyor need to have more alone time with them without your kids. Before the need turns into resentment, it can be helpful to tell your partner how you are feeling."
Matching someone's freak exactly isn't necessary; what's important is finding a partner who respects and loves you as you are – even if who you are is, well, a little weird. "It’s wonderful to be with someone who will approach our humanity and shortcomings with compassion and acceptance – and encourage us to do the same," Kuburic also writes.
I feel lucky these days to have a boyfriend who both matches my freak and complements it. Who points out if I leave pomade in my hair or have a stain on my clothes and doesn't judge me for it. Who will laugh at "Real Housewives" with me, or at least tolerate me talking about it. Who will eat a bowl of Cheerios with me in the morning. My friends and family, too, match my freak in many ways, too.
Thanks, Tinashe, for putting that feeling into words. I'm going to laugh at some more TikToks now and embrace the freaky.
Content creator Morgan Pate defines the phrase as “someone that can be a romantic partner or even just a friend,” she says. “When you say you want someone to 'match your freak,' you're wanting someone to go day-by-day with you and do the things that you love doing, but together.”
“Match my freak” means finding someone who matches your weirdness and enjoys the same niche interests as you. The phrase is a lyric from the song “Nasty” by Tinashe that originally meant finding someone with the same sexual energy as you, but it quickly became a more wholesome meme on social media.
Couples that “match each other's freak” essentially mean that their respective weirdness complements, and sometimes enhances, each other. In this case, “freak” refers to the strange, unconventional, and societally unpalatable parts of a person that can find a good counterpart in another person's strangeness.
Slang. a person who has withdrawn from normal, rational behavior and activities to pursue one interest or obsession: a drug freak. a devoted fan or follower; enthusiast: a baseball freak.
It all stems from Tinashe's song “Nasty” featuring the lyrics, “Is somebody gonna match my freak?” Tinashe might have intended for the lyrics to have a sexual innuendo, but now TikTokers are reclaiming them and showing viewers what makes them a “freak.” And no, the examples aren't sexual.
The term's original neutral connotation became entirely negative during the 20th century; therefore, freak with its literal meaning of "abnormally developed individual" is viewed purely as a pejorative today. However, the term is also recently used playfully to refer to an enthusiast or obsessive person.
It means that you're loved intensely at that moment, a super strong feeling.. “ I Freaking Love You.” 💘 I “FREAKING” LOVE YOU.. it's a deep intense reaction to say how much you mean to that person.
Freak is a not-so-nice noun that refers to either a person who expresses such an intense obsession with something that it resembles addiction, or a person or animal that is monstrous and deformed. Synonyms for freak, when used to describe something or something abnormal, include anomaly, chimera, misshape, and oddity.
adjective. If someone or something is freaky, they are very unusual in some way. [informal] This guy bore a really freaky resemblance to Jones. Synonyms: weird, odd, wild, strange More Synonyms of freaky.
We strongly recommend you do not use this term and instead use a term not usually thought to be offensive. While it is possible that some people will not be offended by this term, just as some people will be offended by other terms when no harm is intended, it is best to avoid.
being definitely out of the ordinary and unexpected; slightly odd or even a bit weird. adjective. conspicuously or grossly unconventional or unusual. synonyms: bizarre, eccentric, flakey, flaky, freakish, gonzo, off-the-wall, outlandish, outre unconventional.
“When you say you want someone to 'match your freak,' you're wanting someone to go day-by-day with you and do the things that you love doing, but together.” Lately, the lexicon of the zeitgeist has been dictated by viral pop song sound bites, lyrics dissected for widespread significance and cultural meanings.
In this context, a person's “freak” refers to hyper-specific, yet incredibly relatable qualities that they yearn for others to live up to. To quote Jughead from Riverdale, this sound is about looking inside yourself and getting in touch with your inner weirdo—with or without a stupid hat.
For most – “that girl” is a girl who journals, drinks green juice, wears gold jewelry, sports the “no-makeup” makeup look, does Pilates, eats salads everyday, and wears Hokas with a slicked-back ponytail.
So if someone says "do you want to match me" they are asking if you want to contribute roughly the same amount of marijuana as they are to smoke during that session. This could similarly be done with a joint, bong, or what-have-you.
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